First 3 Things You Should Do When Planning ANY Wedding/Event: PART II
#1. Decide on what KIND of wedding/party you want to have – theme, feel, vibe, and atmosphere. This can be a very tricky subject as we are multi-faceted beings with many interests. But you need not limit yourself to thinking that a wedding has to say absolutely everything about you. Just as your 21st birthday party was at some karaoke bar, or for your 30th, you had a surprise party with just close friends. Sure… you could have gone skydiving, or up to Wine Country, or sprawled out on the couch all day and watched 3 seasons of West Wing with your Mate. But at some point, you need to make a decision, go down a road, stick to a plan, and run with it. This is what Free Will is folks. We have choice. And we need to make it. And accept it, love it, and make it the best we can.
Now, I’m sure you’ve heard this before… That for a Wedding, you need to choose a theme, and choose colors, etc.!! The question is HOW?
HOW DO YOU CHOOSE what your colors are, or if you want it outdoors or indoors, or violets or peonies? Shall I go Ocean Cliffs, or Apple Farm, or 1920’s Train Station? I like Orange and Yellow together – I could do orange and lemon slices in the flower vases, I can serve a lemonade drink – Ok I can picture it… But… I also think red and white is a hip combo – I could do red-hots in the bottom of jars with candles, red and white pin wheels for decorations…, I can wear red shoes and have my bridesmaids wear red shoes… But I also really like cactuses and succulents and that’s kind of more of a desert summer theme and ahhhhh…
Where do you start, and how do you narrow it down?
This very decision will be the atmosphere of your wedding. It will determine all that is to follow. Determining the theme/look/vibe of your wedding? It’s a very loaded question, and when it’s talked about in wedding mags or books, it’s glazed over as if it’s a true or false question on a multiple-choice test.
First off, go with your gut, usually the first instincts you have are pretty spot on. It’s been said that the first dress a bride tries on is usually the one she buys, and I think this can also be true for the atmosphere of your affair. TRUST YOURSELF. Go to a quite room and do a mentalization technique where you close your eyes and picture yourself there on that day. Try to envision what you want the day to feel like, picture what’s on the tables, where you might be, and what your friends and family are doing. This may sound like hippie balogney, but trust me, you can stone yourself to death with details. You need clarity, and you need to get the ball out of it’s packaging before you can get it rolling.
To help you build… remember this: The things you like say a lot about you.
Think about who you are, and what you like; things, nouns, physical objects that generate a familiarity. Ask yourself how you want the overall mood of the wedding. Is food an important bonding point for you and your Mate? Do you travel to various towns sampling Chili and its many varieties? Do you like all things vintage? Are outdoor activities important to you both?
Or, if your brain works more abstractly, and a generality speaks more to your thought patterns, think of an atmosphere that you enjoy. For example, if you want the wedding to feel like the Ocean Breeze Air, with a sweet waft of Mai Tai’s, calm, chill, relaxed… ask yourself how the beach, or that salty warm air, translates into location and decoratable objects. How can you literally house the feeling that the beach gives you, and decode that into a party atmosphere? How can any of the aforementioned lines of thought be translated into decorations/location/lighting/glasswear, etc?
For our wedding, we researched various objects that were both affordable and said something about us: we read quite a bit so we wanted books around the tables, old hardcover books like you read in school. I’m a filmmaker and I wanted vintage cameras strewn about, and being that my Man is from Yosemite, we decided we wanted a familial rustic woodsy feel, warm, like a community gathering — eating, mingling, listening to live music from our musician friends, dancing, all under the warm glow of café lights. We wanted the feeling of a rustic barn where everyone dresses nice to celebrate this big deal event, and then kick off their shoes and enjoy themselves. So for us, we came up with a way to display the cameras and books, propped on carved tree rounds, with dried flowers & herbs bundled in antique mason jars. And, so began our centerpieces. These things felt like us, like our vibe. So we researched pictures of these things, got inspiration, combined ideas, and began a Look Book Board to organize our thoughts and ideas.
THE LOOK BOOK BOARD:
This saved my life. I’ve been doing these for years with my films, and it thoroughly helped me visualize my wedding in a compact way, that made the it easy to show family and friends what I meant when I described the ambiance of my wedding. Pinterest.com is totally doing these look book boards, and they’re such a great way to get your ideas organized. Bookmark and save photos from the internet, magazines, photographs of places, things, etc. And then assemble them into a concept board, where you can narrow your vision. These are the very Look Book Boards I used for my wedding.
I can’t tell you how much easier it was when my Mother in Law said, “After seeing your lookbook board I totally get it, and I found these vintage jars at a thrift store that I think will go perfect with this idea”. And they DID!!!!! My own Mother, who is crafty town genius, upon seeing my look book board, knew exactly how to assist me in the process. She helped me find knick knacks and built garland, and even found us a really cheap wood wheelbarrow to put gifts in.
Keep it personal. Detailed touches add so much warmth to a wedding, and it can say anything about you. Try to shape your wedding around things you like. Ask yourself these questions when you’re getting married. Think about who you are, whom you’re becoming, and what joining with this other person will make you. How will it dawn on the person you want to be?
If you want a “DO IT YOURSELF” wedding then remember you need to think about the event from all angles. You are your own Film Production and you have to wear ALL the hats. You must be the Art Dept and design a look for the room, the Production Coordinator whom finds the venue, deals with contracts and insurance, takes care of rentals, designs an overall flow to the evening, fields phone calls and logistical aspects. You must also play Director because it’s your wedding and everyone wants to make you happy, and it’s your story and you have to direct the traffic and the players to fit with your vision.
You must also be the Writer, the Director of Photography (**Yes girls, if you’ve having a DIY wedding, I suggest your heavily consider your lighting options. If you want beautifully lit photos for your wedding, the very memorabilia that we all look back on and remember our wedding day by, consider a warmly lit room. — not fluorescent, think china balls or café lights which offer a nice diffused beauty light. Candles are not enough.) Make sure the room is warmly lit. THINK BEAUTFUL PHOTOS OVER AMBIANCE. Ambiance in pictures means dark, unflattering photos, and you will be disappointed.
As a bride you must consider ALL of these aspects and jobs. And yes, it can seem overwhelming. But if you ask yourself some of the above questions, and start a look book board, you’ll find that a lot of these features will fall into place – venue, food activities, flowers, colors, etc.
Advice: Do ONE project that you do by hand, or craft yourself, or make with your girlfriends. At least one thing that helps you feel more personally involved and connected to the wedding amidst the chaos of all the planning and money and organization. For example, one thing I did was make cake plates for our sweets table. I shopped for weeks at thrift stores and found amazing vintage plates, vases and goblets. I made 18, all unique and all charming dessert plates. Some were double tiered, and some were small, and a couple of them were used as candy dishes. It made the sweets table look absolutely adorable, and it made the dessert personal for both myself, and my guests.
Check it out here:
